Sept. 29th

Monday, September 30, 2013

Today is always a hard day for me. Sept 29th was the day we got our BFN (big fat negative) from our first IVF. 
The one that they told us would work. 
The one we were sure worked. 
The one that everything went perfect on. 
The one where we transferred "TWO PERFECT BLASTS ON DAY 6". 
The one where there was a good chance we would be pregnant with twins.
The one where we both took the day off work and bought a pregnancy book and magazine and talked about baby names.

You know, that one where they called and ripped by heart out and I just about died.

That one.

I will NEVER forget that day.

Since then we have done many more IVFs (one got us Foster THANK GOD). But today is always hard, it reminds me of those raw emotions, the desperate feeling, the fear, the absolute lowest moment. I have had plenty of negatives since then but none that shook my core the way that one did.

I dont think a Sept. 29th will ever come and go without without notice.... I dont even know if it will ever come and go out without chest pains and tears. But gladly tomorrow it wont be Sept 29th anymore.

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