Holy Busy Month!

April has been a whirlwind of a month! Needless to say, work has been keeping me very busy. I have also been sick twice this month (I am currently sick), Foster was sick, Justin was sick (twice), and it snowed in april. Did I mention Easter?!

So, work has been a steady progression on more and more patients on my caseload, which is fabulous. I am doing so may different things and it keeps it exciting. Most people probably think of my job and think that I so pap smears and prenatal visits all day but I don't! I also do colpo's with biopsy, endometrial biopsies, IUD insertion and removals, Nexplanon insertions (which I love), ultrasound (TONS OF ULTRASOUNDS, both gyn and OB)... the list goes on and on. Most importantly, to me, I am doing the infertility consults for our office. I am doing monitored cycles and IUI right there in our practice. This monitoring and triggering that I am able to do is all thanks to my very special "fellowship" I did at an Reproductive Endocrinology office during grad school with the best RE in the country (duh, she made Foster!).

Heres the kicker...... this month I have gotten some beyond fantastic news. 2 of my first IUI patients are pregnant. One after 3 years of treatments after losing a baby at 30 weeks pregnant (with practically no ovarian reserve left) and the other after 6 years of trying. These were cases close to my heart and I shared in their excitement. There is NOTHING MORE REWARDING. Tomorrow morning I get to do the first OB ultrasound for one of those couples, pretty sure we will all be teary eyed (in a happy way) together. *warm fuzzies*

I have organized a team for the March of Dimes March for Babies that is this weekend. Foster was premature and this cause is a great one. I have a team ready to walk called "March for Foster" and we have raised over $500!

So, while blogging has not been a success this month other things have been! Tomorrow I am "carrying" the blog baton on instagram @TheBlogBaton so check me out as I will posting all day on that account so you can see what my daily life is like!

Happy Birthday to ME!

That's right, tomorrow is my birthday. I will be 29 (ouch!). This is my LAST YEAR OF BEING YOUNG, then I have to be a grown up. BOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

I thought there was no better way to celebrate than to update my 30 under 30 goal list and see what I had accomplished since I made it at the beginning of december (12/5/13) and what I left to accomplish in the next year because.... let's face it friends, 1 year till 30. (cue tears and trembling)

I think I have done pretty good since december! Now I just need to get some of the zoos and parks on the list taken care of since the weather is finally going to get better! I also need to plan a weekend away for just JD and I to reconnect. Ahhhh, life.

My Biggest Fear

This is sort of a tough one for me actually. If you asked me a couple years ago this would have been a very simple answer "Failure" but now that I have a child my biggest fear is losing him/something happening to him. I think this is probably every (good) parent's worst fear though so today I am going to talk about my overwhelming fear of failure.

I know it probably sounds silly and irrational but failure just isn't in my vocabulary. It is not an outcome that I have on the table to choose from. My parents always expected a lot from me and I wasn't rewarded for doing well, if I didn't do well it was "WHY DID YOU GET A 'B' IN THAT CLASS" or something along those lines. Second best was just that, second. 

I have always been competitive and all of my friend will agree that when it comes to a game or competition I am "in it to win it" which I think is healthy and important. Who wants to do things with someone who doesn't put in effort and care about winning?! Certainly not me.

I think, however, that while failure scares the crap out of me I need to learn that it is ok also. I need to learn that sometimes I am going to fail and that it is ok. Infertility was something that really hit me hard because no matter what I did, how hard I tried, or how much effort I put in I could NOT GET PREGNANT. I was literally losing my mind over it. Not only for the obvious reasons but because I felt so out of control and like such a failure. This wasn't acceptable and I immediately, upon realizing that I may just be a total failure at reproducing, signed up for grad school. I was gonna prove that I could succeed gosh darn it!!! So succeed I did. I got into the program I wanted, the quarter I wanted, for the specialty I wanted and I went through it with a 3.9 GPA. TAKE THAT FAILURE!!!!

You know what that taught me? That no matter what I do some things are out of my hands. I went through, and still struggle with, major depression and anxiety. My fear of failure is debilitating. I can spend every moment planning out how to succeed but sometimes I just cannot do it.

So while this is ONE of my biggest fears I know that it is one that I must tackle, and I am trying.

New Challenge... ACCEPTED!

                                                                          

I am going to attempt this "30 Days of Blogging" knowing that I may post more than one day at a time and miss some days but I will do my best!

1. Show the blog some love- It is no lie, this blog has been neglected lately. Joining a new practice and settling in has been a transition and a learning experience. It has been draining, rewarding, exhausting, fun, wild, and crazy! Now I need to get back to the things that are therapeutic for me, and my blog is one of them.

2. Get some billing/production issues solved at work- Need to have this meeting since the first quarter ended on March 31st and some things are "globally" billed and we need to figure out how this works when we all see those patients in the office.

3. Clean my freakin house!- It needs it, bottom line. I need to get it cleaned up enough to have the cleaning lady come and do a deep spring cleaning.

4. Party my ass off for my 29th birthday- Yep, necessary. Party is in the planning currently.

5. Re-evaluate my 30 before 30 because I only have 1 year left (eeeeek!)- I only have one freaking year left, how scary is that?! I need to look at this list and GET BUSY. At least I can say I that I completed my 20's as a successful career woman building my medical practice and client base. Thats a plus if my book!

6. Take Happy Valley by storm with my Nursing Girls- no doubt. Watch out this weekend if you ar win the happiest of valleys.

7. Go get a massage- Because, hell, I deserve it.

30 Make-up Questions (Part One)

1. Do you remember the first make-up item?
Ummmm.... I don't remember my name many days so no. But probably lip gloss. It was probably sparkly and pink.

2. Describe your perfect mascara, have you found one that fits your specification?
Semi-water resistant (not waterproof), makes my lashes long and chunky and BIG. I like the look of LOTS OF LASHES! I am liking the Smashbox Full Exposure mascara that I am using right now!

3. What coverage do you prefer from foundation?
I like full coverage without looking heavy. I like to cover my rosy cheeks, I feel like my skin isn't an even tone so I want to correct that.

4. Favorite high end brand?
Hmmmmm......... Probably Urban Decay because I am Addicted to my Naked Palettes.

5. What cosmetics have you always wanted to try but haven't?
Eyelash extensions- I know those probably really aren't cosmetics but I have tried most of the "make up" type things that I am interested in.

6. Favorite drugstore brand?
Cover Girl! Love their mascaras, haha.

7. Do you wear fake eyelashes?
I did for my wedding and a friend's wedding that I was in!

8. Is there any kind of make-up you can't leave the house without?
My foundation powder, might need a touch up!!!

9. What is your most cherished product?
Currently I would say that I love my foundation made my Make Up For Ever, it is the Matte Velvet +. HOWEVER, if you were to ask me what I could not live without it would be mascara because I have blonde eyelashes (true platinum blonde here).

10. How often do you shop for make-up? Do you like to pick up make-up all at once or here and there?
Too often, lol. Here and there and EVERYWHERE! (I sound like Dr. Seuss now)

11. Do you have a beauty budget or do you spend freely?
I don't have a specific budget but I don't like to spend crazy amounts either. It took me a while to take the dive and buy the Naked Palettes.

12. Do you utilize coupons, rewards and sales when you shop for cosmetics?
No, but I should. Story of my life.

13. What type of products do you buy the most of?
Eyeshadows and mascara.

14. Is there a brand you absolutely can not stand?
Clinique, never lives up to the hype for me.

15. Do you avoid certain ingredients in cosmetics?
Um..... no? I never even look at the ingredients. Ooops.