Live & Learn Thursday Link Up- Completeness

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

The Crafty Practitioner
Why cant I feel like my family is complete? I wish I could convince myself that "this is it" but I can't. How do people do it? How do they have one child and feel like that is enough and they are done?

Can you learn to feel complete?

I have always wanted three kids. I was an only child growing up and I detested it. I made up fake siblings, I begged my parents to give me siblings, I just wanted siblings! Everyone else had them after all. I told myself that I would never have an only child.

On another note, pregnancy is amazing, magical, miraculous, & breathtaking. I loved it. Feeling baby kicks, movements, hiccups, stretches and rolls was something that make my heart grow two sizes. I cannot fathom not feeling those feelings again. How am I supposed to just erase that longing?

Once you have a baby and you get to see an amazing little person that you created how can you not want to do that again?

These are all reasons why you see most people have multiple kids I am sure. As a matter of fact I feel like most people don't even wait long in between kids many times because the whole experience is just so amazing.

I know that if it was up to me I would already be a mother of two. Then reality sets in, in my life it isn't up to me. I don't get a say in my family size, when I have babies, how I have babies, if I have babies. 

Instead I get to yearn for them, pray for them, beg my body to cooperate, spend thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dollars, fail, fail again, cry, and feel completely defeated. I spend some part of every day watching a pregnant woman and just imagining what my life would be like if I was her, how it must feel to be her, wondering if she even knows how lucky she is.

I am 28, it is the age where everyone is having babies therefor it makes it impossible to just remove myself from the situation. I am truly and honestly happy for others that have babies! It just comes with a whole giant mountain of sad for me. That is what I could say is my tagline for my late 20s "Happy for them, Sad for me".

I so want to give Foster a sibling. I want him to be a big brother. He would love to be a brother. I want to see a sibling bond and experience it. I want to watch them grow and play together. Now he is already 2.5 and the age gap will be so big that they won't be playmates and best friends. Add to that the fact that we cannot try to have a baby right now and I am just so hopeless.

January Beauty Box Five Review

Sunday, February 23, 2014

Beauty Box Five was nice enough to send me a box to review for them. I was so excited to receive this box and rushed inside to open it up. This is one that I have been advertising for but had not had a chance to try yet. It did not let me down!!!!
It comes with a great card to let you know about all of the products and the box!
Here are all of my goodies that came in the box.
NYX Eyeshadow Palette- I will NEVER complain about an eyeshadow palette, they are just so handy. I love that this one has a neutral and warm and cool color in it. These are all colors that I will use and they have some sparkle to them. Love it!
Clean & Clear Morning Burst Facewash- I have actually used this before, I love Clean & Clear and use one of their face washes daily so I am loving that I got a small one to pack with me for my next trip.
Body Drench Hemp Lotion- Let me tell you, my hands look like a 90 year old woman! I am dry and cracked and it is miserable. Being a Nurse Practitioner I was my hands a million times a day between patients and my poor hands take a beating. I am really liking this stuff, I had never heard of it before and now I am so glad to have found it.
OFRA Lipgloss Plumper- This stuff works!!!!! The color is not right for me but I tried it to see how the plumping effect worked and you can actually feel it working!!!!
Foot Smoother- THANK YOU LORD! I needed this. My heels are like crackled alligator skin in the summer from living in flip flops so this thing will be my best friend this summer, for sure!

For more information visit:

Ikea Rocks

Monday, February 17, 2014

Yesterday was girl's day and a friend and I went to Ikea. We had been wanting to go and finally found a free day that worked for both of us. I picked her up before lunch time and off we went.

Let me be the first to tell you, in case you didn't know, that Ikea is SO dangerous for your wallet and marriage. I spent too much money but got some great stuff that my husband is huffing and puffing over having to put together (haha). Here are some of the awesome things that I got:

Aren't you so excited to see where I end up putting them in my house and how I decorate them? ;)
I promise to post pictures!

Live & Learn Thursday Link Up AND Little Friday Link Up

Thursday, February 13, 2014

The Crafty Practitioner
I love reading birth stories and I think there is a lot that can be learned from them so today for Live & Learn thursday I am posting Foster's Birth Story, ENJOY!

Wednesday, July 20th, I went in to the OB to turn in my second 24 hour urine collection and have an ultrasound. I had been thinking that bedrest had been going well and they were going to just tell me to keep hanging in there. WRONG. My OB said that she was no longer comfortable with me being at home and managing me there and she was going to go call my MFM.

She walked back into the room and said "Lets have a baby!"...... Immediate shock and panic. She said that labor and delivery was full but to head home, pack my bags and be ready because they were going to call me to come in as soon as they had a room that night. She also gave me the "come to jesus" talk telling me that realistically my odds of having a c-section are VERY high. I have an extremely narrow pelvis and my body isnt dilating or effacing on its own yet. I still opted to try for the induction since this is the delivery that I had dreamed about and pictured in my head. I know things dont always go as planned but I wanted to be able to say that I tried everything.

So, I went home and started to rush around the house because NOTHING was ready. My DH had to install the car seat and I had to pack bags for baby and myself and Justin. My house wasnt done being cleaned and the carpet cleaners hasnt come yet... how could this be happening?!
We got to the hospital at 9pm and got our room and got settled in. My OB was in the hospital so she came over and talked to us and it was so nice to see her and know that she was following us all the way.

The first thing that we tried was Cervadil. It is supposed to ripen your cervix and start you dilating. The way that drug works is that you put it in and wait 12 hours and then check to see how it worked. Right before placing the Cervadil the resident came in and checked my cervix because I as having contractions ever 4 minutes steadily but no progress. So, in went the cervadil and12 hours later they checked me (11am the next day) and it had done NOTHING. We were so disappointed and it seemed like such a waste of time.

The next plan was so use cytotech which does the same thing as cervadil but just works differently. The only problem here was that in order to use this drug you have to have less than 12 contractions in an hour and i was having them every 2 to 3 minutes. So, no cytotech.

We went on to pitocin. We upped the dose many times and sometimes had to bring it back down because my worthless contractions were too close together. They did multiple cervical checks but nothing was changing except my cervix was getting softer. They decided that they thought they might be able to force a fingertip through my cervix so they wanted to try a foley balloon to cause my to dilate to 4cm.

By this time I was extrememly frustrated and done. Baby refused to stay on the monitor so there was literally a nurse in the room with us 90% of the time trying to get him on the monitor... my belly was SO sore from them poking that monitor around for hours and hours. I was ready to throw that monitor! Haha.

The resident came in to do that foley and immediately said that he wouldnt be able to get it because of the awkward position of my cervix. He said that he would have to go get another Dr. The new Dr came in and he was about 70 years old and they tell me that he and his father are the 2 doctors that brought this procedure to the US in the 1980s. He starts and let me tell you that it was the most painful thing that I have maybe ever felt. I was emotionally exhausted at this point and the pain added to that I just had had it. He kept asking for different tools and trying to force it when it just wasnt working. After a few minutes I was literaly crying so hard that I was almost screaming and I said I didnt want to do it anymore and the Dr would not stop! My husband and my nurse tried to get him to stop and he wouldnt. Finally he said that my cervix just wouldnt allow it and that I was only the second patient he had EVER had that he was unsuccessful on. Gee, thanks buddy.

After 28 hours of induction and no progress I was ready to throw in the towel so they called my OB and she said she was gonna come in right then and it was c-section time. This is when I panicked and realized I was about to have surgery, eek!

My blood pressure got really high (about 210/140) and they decided that I couldn't walk to the OR, they were gonna have to roll me there in my bed. They did a spinal block and it was surgery time.

At 12:55am July 22nd Foster Everett D_____ was born at exactly 36 weeks, 6 pounds 14 ounces, and 19.4 inches long. He cried immediately and in turn I cried immediately. I could not believe that after all we had been through our miracle was finally here. It was emotional to say the least. I still cry when I think about it.

They took him over to the warmer and worked on him immediately. They then wrapped him up and brought him to Justin and I got to see him for a moment and kiss his head. Then they had to take him to the nursery they said and I told Justin to go with them.

After surgery they took me to the recovery room and I got to see my parents, justin's parents, justin's aunt, and cousin. It was so nice to see them and they were all headed back out to the waiting room to wait and see Foster.

I kept trying to stay awake because I was expecting them to bring me my baby but the first thing I heard was that he was in the NICU with CPAP, oxygen, a feeing tube, IV, and monitors. It broke my heart that he was having such a hard time and I wasnt there with him. They told me that I wasnt going to be able to go to the mother-baby floor right away because I had to be transferred to high risk and be on a magnesium sulfate drip for 24 hours for my sever preeclampsia. I wouldnt be able to see my baby until after that was over.
Worst. news. ever.

Justin and the family all got to go see him and Justing brought pictures to show me. It was so nice to see him but I wanted to hold him so badly. After going through all of that I couldnt believe I didnt ever get to hold him =(

I ended up getting off my magnesium sulfate drip after 12 hours instead of 24 and the next afternoon I got to see my baby boy. It was such an amazing moment to get to look at him and know that he was real.

He spent about 48 hours in the NICU (as did I, haha). Then on Monday we went home.

Tuesday he had some issues and we went to the pediatrician and he had 3 attacks of respiratory distress in the office and we got sent to Children's hospital. He was admitted and we spent every moment there with him. Its so sad to see a tiny little preemie get poked and prodded but we knew it was for the best.

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Happy Little Friday Everyone!

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January Citrus Lane Box Review

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

 Upset Tummy & Nausea Relief from Mommy's Bliss-
This is an herbal, all-natural supplement that comes in single dose packages which makes it so convenient.
 Duo Tip Washable Markers from Faber-Castel-
These are colored with vegetable dye so if they get on clothing it is easily washed out. The tips are wide tip at one end and fine tip at the other. These are great for kiddos to get creative with!
 Zig Zag Zebra Coloring Book from Barefoot Books-
This is not your ordinary coloring book. Each page is designed to encourage creativity, helping your child master drawing skills, shape recognition, line drawing, color combining and reading, all through simple activities.

 Fruit Set from Plan Toys-
This was made exclusively for Citrus Lane! This set allows kids to learn to "chop" food. It develops fine motor skills and encourages imagination.

 Would you like to sign up for Citrus Lane boxes? Here is a link to sign up and get $10 off:

January Bluum Box Review

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

I love our Bluum boxes. I thought that the January box was way better than the December one. The first thing that we saw when we opened it was this adorable teddy bear! Foster's eyes lit up!

Fiesta Toys - Happy Kritters Cuddle Bear- This is pretty self explanatory... an adorable teddy bear!
Nature’s Bakery - Fig Bar - Whole Wheat Raspberry- Nature's Bakery gives you the all natural, kosher, cholesterol-free fuel you need to help power life’s great journeys. Oh yeah, and to make it and your journeys jam-packed with flavor.
Luna - Bars - Carrot Cake Bar- An indulgent cinnamon-spiced bar with carrots, walnuts, white soy chips, and sweet raisins—drizzled with creamy vanilla icing.
Luna - Bars - Chocolate Dipped Coconut- With your health in mind, Luna Bar is created with 70% organic ingredients, and steers clear of synthetic fertilizers, harmful chemicals, high fructose corn syrup, and other unhealthy additives.
The I Like Book - I Like Book For Kids- The i like book for kids is the newest and best way to build your child up one LIKE at a time while opening better communication. This 12 month journal will allow you to show your child all of the big and little things you LIKE about them consistently. Designed by a mom who wanted to create a lasting memory with her child. This colorful book is filled with fun stories, quotes, a fill-in family tree, tic tac toe, places to doodle or color, cool images and many places to add pictures and/or mementos. In this special book that you child will cling to, you simply write what you LIKE about them and express it verbally too. Your child will feel loved, safe, unique and special.

Bumkins - Waterproof Super Bib - Crocs- Made of Bumkins' proprietary waterproof fabric. Stain and odor resistant. Adjustable VELCRO® brand closure. Features catch-all pocket. Machine washable, hang dry. Measures 10 inches across, 9 inches from neck down. Sized to fit 3 months to 2 years. PVC, BPA, Phthalate and vinyl-free. Made in the USA.
Priddy Books - Puzzle Town At The Zoo- Interactive book and puzzle set for preschoolers . The set includes a board book with simple questions to answer about things to find down on the farm as well as a jigsaw puzzle pieces to place on the pages. Encourages development of hand-eye coordination and early reading skills.

Want to order Bluum for your little one? Follow this link for 50% off!